MattX technologies - Voice Over A Pea (VOAP)
3 Steps to Cheaper Telephone Calls
1. Purchase one of the many VOAP phones now on the market from selected MattX service partners such as Davetronics, Noogie's Hi-Fi-Guy-Buy or The Samson Foundation for Vegetable Telephony. Take it home. Earth it to a dog's collar. Attach a pea.
2. Dial the number. Followed by your account number and computer PIN+. Then #. Dial 4329. Hold down the * button. Tap the microphone with your pipe. Sit down. Have a cup of tea and wait. Your call will be processed shortly.
3. You'll be patched through to one of the over 50 telephone operators, who using a complex system of marrowfat and garden peas, will patch your call through to its destination within minutes.
Service is available to most MattX customers living and residing within the British Isles. Not compatible with high-speed broadbean service or frozen peas. Marrowfat peas may offer a more reliable service to customers living in less middle-class areas, such as Wales, or the North.

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